Personal Share: When it's time to S.L.O.W. D.O.W.N.

I remember when I got COVID 10 days ago, one of my mentees said, “Feel better and slow down.” It struck a chord because deep down, I knew that slowing down was the key. Yet, I was also afraid of it. 😳

One thing I’ve come to appreciate about being sick—or feeling incapacitated in some way—is that it strips away all my defenses and bypasses. What do I mean by that? Enduring six days of almost constant fever, I was so weak and in pain that I couldn’t distract myself with anything. My usual daily routines—those subtle, unconscious distractions I relied on to avoid deeper feelings in my body—were completely unavailable. I couldn’t watch Netflix because it drained me mentally.

I couldn’t eat, talk, workout, meet people, work, or even create social media content. I was left with nothing to “keep busy” with.

And I think that’s the key. When I keep myself busy and occupied with activities, they often become distractions or ways to avoid feeling what’s buried and unconscious in the body. I’ve realized this avoidance stems from an innocent fear of meeting feelings tied to past pain or trauma, especially from childhood. But when I’m sick, the illness itself pulls me deeply into my body, into the raw felt sense of presence. It also brings me face-to-face with the painful, scary things I’ve avoided.

Before I learned somatic processing, I didn’t know how to deal with this. I would just wait for the discomfort to pass, hoping to feel better eventually. Now, I’ve learned to surrender to it, allowing these feelings to surface and processing them deeply on a somatic level.

That’s exactly what happened during COVID. It was like a dance: when the fever spiked, I could only exist—breathing and lying still in bed. When it subsided a little, there was space for trauma to surface, and I processed it. (After 6 days I also said “I’ve had enough of the dance”). 😄

Childhood fears arose—the fear of being hated, abused, ridiculed, abandoned, and the fear of my own anger. Memories of the pain and torment came up.

But through somatic processing, I found myself on the other side of it, in a new place. I began experiencing love, power, compassion, and a clearer connection to my own energy and self. This is what we call a “shift” within the Kiloby Inquiries (KI)—when trauma surfaces, you process it using tools, and then you reconnect with your natural state of being. It’s the “you” that existed before the trauma happened and before you started repressed your emotions as an impact and result of the trauma.

So, I ask: Can you slow down enough to face and feel what your body wants to tell you? Or are you scared, just as I was? It’s okay if you are—there’s no rush. Take your time to learn how to meet your body with curiosity, love, care, and skill.

Start small:

• Turn off distractions occasionally, especially if you’re always anxious or busy.

• Ask your body, “What are you feeling right now?” Then journal about it—write down whatever comes up and make it conscious.

• It’s completely normal to feel resistance. That’s your body’s natural way of coping. Instead of fighting it, build a connection with your body, including its resistance. Approach it with kindness and patience.

• What do you notice when you stop and allow yourself to feel? What’s one small step you can take today to create space for your body to be heard? What do you need?

• Try this: Gently say to yourself, “It’s okay to stop and feel.” Notice if any disagreement arises within you. Then listen—what does your body have to say through that response? Again, note it down…
  

Much love, 

Serena

"What you find inside transforms everything outside!" 🌀