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Creating something new shouldn’t feel like a chore—right?


Have you ever felt like starting something new or creative—even something you love—somehow feels heavy, or like a chore? Like a part of you just wants to skip to the end so you can finally relax?

 

I’ve been in that space lately. I know I haven’t been sending out my usual weekly journals—I’ve been immersed in several projects and moving through big inner shifts, both personally and in my work. But I’m slowly finding my way back, and I’m happy to say: the journals are returning.

 

This new creative phase has stirred up a lot of old inertia and heaviness in my body and mind. And I wanted to talk about it here, because I have a feeling you might know this too.



If—like me—you were controlled, silenced, or had everything done for you as a kid, then creating something new might not feel freeing. It can actually feel like pressure, or even fear. A part of you might say, “Just finish this already, so you can be safe and relax.” Even when you love what you’re doing...



This can happen especially if your parents or early environment:

  • constantly challenged or competed with you

  • pushed you down so they could feel better about themselves

  • lacked the patience to follow your rhythm

  • they impatiently just did it for you because they didn’t know how to be present with you during the learning and discovery phase.

  • didn’t encourage you with respect and curiosity

  • ignored your creations, believing that never praising you would help you grow (what a bullshit belief, right?)

 

To avoid the pain of those moments, many of us learned to hide our joy, our creativity, and our power. It didn’t feel safe to express them—because someone close might have been triggered by it. And we’re not supposed to fight or hide during a creative process, right?

 

Because the moment we start fighting or hiding internally or externally, the creative flow shuts down.



For me, it shows up like this: I open a blank page, and suddenly my chest tightens. My thoughts spin. A voice inside says, “Just get it done quickly so you can relax,” or “You don’t deserve to be successful,” or “I have to shut down to feel safe.” And beneath that, there’s often unspoken, buried anger—anger I never got to express toward my mother. And a deep sadness about the way she were disconnected from me.



If this resonates with you, please know: you’re not alone. So many of us carry these invisible rules and protections. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you if creating or change feels difficult. It makes so much sense.

 

But here’s the beautiful truth:

We can rediscover our love for creating. We can reawaken the power and joy we once had, buried beneath those old protections. We learned to shut them down—which means we can learn to open them again.

 

Once those unconscious blocks begin to melt, we stop rushing to the finish line. We actually begin to enjoy being in the process. The constant ‘I have to, I have to, I have to but I can't’ spiral in your mind shifts to ‘I love to, I love to, I love to even more’.

 

And that… that’s what real fulfillment feels like for me.

 

If this touched something in you, maybe pause for a moment and gently ask yourself:

  • What would my creativity feel like if it were completely free?

  • What did I once love creating, before anyone told me how I “should” be?

  • What would I do or create if absolutely nothing stood in the way?

 

Now imagine your parents are in the room with you. Ask yourself:

  • Does it feel safe for me to fully feel my power, joy, love—or even my sexuality? Would my body say yes… or no?

  • What’s the worst that could happen if I expressed myself without limitation and fully trusted myself?

  • And what do I gain by believing that this worst-case scenario would happen? How does holding onto that belief still serve me?

 


I’d love to hear what you discover. Just hit reply if you feel like sharing (and click on the e-mail button on the page that pops up).You’re not walking this alone. And I’m so glad we’re reconnecting.






 

Read my weekly Journals here. Stuck and feeling unmet in relationships? Check out my new monthly Relationships Workshop for just $20!

 
 
 

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